Home on the Range

Hello, loyal readers (yes, both of you)! Why have I been absent from the blogosphere, you ask? I have been on a lovely trip to Wyoming and replaced my virtual life with a real one. Okay, okay, I didn't have internet access. Anyway...

What is it about the rural Western United States that makes people wear turquoise jewelry and large belt buckles? Jackson, Wyoming, is a fashion center all its own. The town, small as it is, seems to specialize in yuppies who are pretending to be outdoorsy.

You forgot your bear spray? Sure. While you're picking some up, why don't you check out the $500 stingray-skin cowboy boots we have for sale downstairs?

Last time I checked, stingrays were not native to Wyoming. I was also highly amused by the "authentic" wooden Christmas ornaments (choose from moose or bison) made in India.

Also fascinating was the $2,500 leather coat that had a rhinestone Gothic cross plastered across the back. You know, perfect for those chilly mornings chasing heathen pronghorns across the valley.

Tiny Daughter manged to lose one of her shoes on the airplane, and since there was no Target to be found, the lucky little lady is now the proud owner of $42 pink mary janes. I was twelve before I owned a pair of shoes that expensive. I have instructed her feet to stop growing for the next 18 months.

So...yeah. Jackson is not the place for inexpensive souvenirs. It is, however, the place for:

A good time was had by all, just not at the retail stores.

Packing it In

I know I'm not the only seriously annoyed that airlines are charging us for a checked bag. It's not easy to get by with a carry-on if you're going to be away for more than a weekend, particularly if you have a special event to plan for (we all know a wedding requires an entire outfit you will only wear once that week: bridesmaid dress, uncomfortable bra, Spanx, and stupid shoes). For every trip, I have just decided to plan on my ticket costing an extra $50, since I'll have to pay for baggage both ways. Now it doesn't even matter how long I will be away; I will always need to check a bag. Why, you ask?

Because I'm taking my baby.

You think women are high maintenance? We've got nothing on babies. One outfit change for us, two for the baby. Minimum. Diapers, wipes, food, toyspacifiersshoesmedicineblankiesippycupsbottlesbibs. The list goes on. Literally. My list, between me and the baby, is two pages long. Despite the fact that my little one is about 1/5 my size, she has now taken over 60% of my suitcase. The only thing that's mine in my carry-on is my laptop. I'm trying to decide if I REALLY need a change of socks for each day? I mean, my feet will be in shoes, right? Right???

Maybe next time I should just FedEx my clothes.

Baby-Proof Jewelry

Marilyn Monroe crooned that diamonds are a girl's best friend, but I think it's important that we don't have an exclusive relationship. Who doesn't love a great statement necklace or the kind of earrings that make your neck look long and lean? I have an impressive amount of jewelry, a lot of which I've made myself. The problem is that most of it was made or purchased BEFORE baby, or, as I like to call them, the years BB.

In the years BB, jewelry was purchased on a whim. Maybe it reminded me of something my grandmother wore. Maybe it went with the outfit I was wearing that day. I tend to gravitate towards unique, artisan-style stuff that you are not going to see on everyone. Tiny Daughter, on the other hand, tends to gravitate towards ANYTHING. Dangly earring? I'm going to pull it out of your ear now! Delicate chain? Hey, you can repair that, right? Beaded necklace? Those things look good enough to eat. Since it's pretty much impossible to wear jewelry that the baby won't be interested in, mommies need to find accessories that won't break. I've found a few items that seem to withstand the AB (After Baby) era.

Metal link necklace
Purchased a couple of years ago in an Ohio boutique, this $20 necklace is surprisingly lightweight yet sturdy. These mega-chunky links are mesh, giving me the look of serious hardware without the neck ache. It's long enough I often double it up and wear it as a choker, too.

Sorry about the pic. Someday I'll learn how to use my camera and finally manage to take a picture indoors without a flash. For now, just ignore the blinding light.






Flower post earrings from Express



This kinda retro-y pair is cute but not terribly tempting for kids to pull. The post backing means it's securely stuck to my ear.

Huh. Never got a close-up side view of my ear before. Glad to know there's no hair.





Antique fork bracelet
Yes, you read that right. It's a fork. A guy at a craft fair in Florida last spring explained how he buys antique silverware at estate sales and melts the tines, creating the swirls. This one happened to have a cool cut-out pattern on the end, as well. There is a spring hinge on the back, so I don't have to amputate my wrist when I take the bracelet off. There's nothing to pull on, no beads that can fly off, and no elastic to snap. Plus, it's quite the conversation-starter, don't you think?


Someday, Tiny Daughter will get to inherit my jewelry. I really, really hope by that time she will have lost interest in eating it.